I am not really sure how to start off, I can't think of anything whitty or funny because honestly I am still in shock from the entire experience.
Adam and I went to Adam's moms house for dinner tonight. Adams mom has a boyfriend that we will call "Clark" (name changed to protect the innocent or in this case - not so innocent?). So we are getting ready to leave after a lovely dinner and are saying our goodbyes and "Clark" approaches for the usual kiss on the cheek and hug only "Clark" goes in for a full on lip kiss. "Clark" had been drinking lots of wine so I am hoping he was intoxicated and that was the cause of his lapse in judgement that it is OK to kiss your girlfriends daughter in-law on the lips.
I would like to say that this was my first encounter with this male lip kissing and Adams side of the family however Adam has a cousin "George" (again to protect the not so innocent?) who has been doing the same thing for the past several years. Luckily he lives out of town and only visits once a year so it is not such a problem. However, "Clark" lives here full time and I have to see him several times a month so I hope that this was just a one time thing.
Survey/Question: Is it a coincidence that "Clark" and "George" feel the need to kiss me on the lips or do I invite this behavior in some unknowing gesture? Also, has anyone else experienced this?
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
And the downfall is.....
Sometimes we make jokes that are funny at the time but when they actually really happen are not as funny as you once thought or imagined.
I awoke Sunday just like any other day. Birds were singing, dogs were snoring and there were things to be done. I had a bridal shower to attend and following the shower I had to make it to our flag football playoffs. So that I could spend as much time at the shower without being completely rude and leaving before presents were fully ooohhhh and ahhhhhed at I decided that I would go straight to the game and change there.
Here is where the irony begins. I wore a cute little dress and when I arrived at football everyone joked that I should keep the dress on and fall down "accidentally" to distract the other team. See? Funny? Right? Not so much in a moment.
I changed into my gear and hit the field. We were about half way through the game and the quarterback called a play that the ball would come to me and I would run for a touchdown. The ball snapped, I ran out 5 ft and turned and the ball was coming at me. I made the catch and turned again to run for the end zone when one of the defense players grabbed for my flag but instead of grabbing the flag, grabbed my shorts and yanked then down all the way to my knees.
I instantly felt exposed and direct light on an area of my behind that is usually shaded. I let out a yell that could be heard for miles and dropped to the ground not making it to the end zone. I have a bruise on each cheek which illustrates the velocity at which my butt made contact with the fake turf.
Turns out that our little joke came true but like I said, not so funny when it actually happens.
Survey Is......I was wearing a thong at the time of this butt exposure. I was thankful to have the thong on and not my granny panties which I felt would have enlarged my hiney. Would you prefer to show thong or granny panties?
I awoke Sunday just like any other day. Birds were singing, dogs were snoring and there were things to be done. I had a bridal shower to attend and following the shower I had to make it to our flag football playoffs. So that I could spend as much time at the shower without being completely rude and leaving before presents were fully ooohhhh and ahhhhhed at I decided that I would go straight to the game and change there.
Here is where the irony begins. I wore a cute little dress and when I arrived at football everyone joked that I should keep the dress on and fall down "accidentally" to distract the other team. See? Funny? Right? Not so much in a moment.
I changed into my gear and hit the field. We were about half way through the game and the quarterback called a play that the ball would come to me and I would run for a touchdown. The ball snapped, I ran out 5 ft and turned and the ball was coming at me. I made the catch and turned again to run for the end zone when one of the defense players grabbed for my flag but instead of grabbing the flag, grabbed my shorts and yanked then down all the way to my knees.
I instantly felt exposed and direct light on an area of my behind that is usually shaded. I let out a yell that could be heard for miles and dropped to the ground not making it to the end zone. I have a bruise on each cheek which illustrates the velocity at which my butt made contact with the fake turf.
Turns out that our little joke came true but like I said, not so funny when it actually happens.
Survey Is......I was wearing a thong at the time of this butt exposure. I was thankful to have the thong on and not my granny panties which I felt would have enlarged my hiney. Would you prefer to show thong or granny panties?
Monday, June 25, 2007
Now you know...
I have this strange condition I like to refer to as Sunday insomnia. For some reason every Sunday I am up until at least 1am watching Sunset Tan or Girls Next Door. Yes, it is always the same shows so I feel like there is some type of connection. I am working on figuring that part out.
Anyway, so last night I decided that I would not be victim to this phenomenon any longer and set the TV sleeper for 30 mins and closed my eyes determined that I would be sleeping before the 30 mins expired. It was a nice plan however it failed.
After the room went dark and all I could hear was Adam and Poky having a snoring competition I was still awake for over an hour.
I decided to go into our basement and continue my E TV watching (not to disturb the contest with no end in site). I made a stop in the kitchen and got an orange soda and continued into the basement.
As I turned on the light and rounded the corner there he was.....looking at me. Some type of Jurassic Park looking creature. Our eyes met, mine large and full of fear, his small and hungry. He was standing his ground and did not make a move, I however turned off the light and RAN upstairs for safety.
My loud footsteps stopped the snoring contest and as I reached the bed Adam and Poky were both up asking what I was doing running up the stairs at 1:30AM. I explained my encounter with the beast in the basement and was expecting Adam to come to my rescue and slay the beast however he just told me to go to sleep.
Naturally because I was up so late I did not wake up until Adam was leaving out the door so here I am now, in the house with the beast. I know that he is still here, waiting, watching, and planning his attack. He knows that I am alone.
If something happens to me, please alert the media and cops that it was the beast in the basement that attacked me, not Adam.
No survey this week - I am too terrified to think of one. Feel free to post your own survey.
Anyway, so last night I decided that I would not be victim to this phenomenon any longer and set the TV sleeper for 30 mins and closed my eyes determined that I would be sleeping before the 30 mins expired. It was a nice plan however it failed.
After the room went dark and all I could hear was Adam and Poky having a snoring competition I was still awake for over an hour.
I decided to go into our basement and continue my E TV watching (not to disturb the contest with no end in site). I made a stop in the kitchen and got an orange soda and continued into the basement.
As I turned on the light and rounded the corner there he was.....looking at me. Some type of Jurassic Park looking creature. Our eyes met, mine large and full of fear, his small and hungry. He was standing his ground and did not make a move, I however turned off the light and RAN upstairs for safety.
My loud footsteps stopped the snoring contest and as I reached the bed Adam and Poky were both up asking what I was doing running up the stairs at 1:30AM. I explained my encounter with the beast in the basement and was expecting Adam to come to my rescue and slay the beast however he just told me to go to sleep.
Naturally because I was up so late I did not wake up until Adam was leaving out the door so here I am now, in the house with the beast. I know that he is still here, waiting, watching, and planning his attack. He knows that I am alone.
If something happens to me, please alert the media and cops that it was the beast in the basement that attacked me, not Adam.
No survey this week - I am too terrified to think of one. Feel free to post your own survey.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
After 28 years.....
On Tuesday May 29, 2007 I turned 28. I am not going to say that it was one of the better ages to turn like 13 when you are a "real" teenager, 16 when you get your license, 18 when you are an "adult"....so on and so on, you get the point. Really after say...25 there really is not much to look forward to as far as birthdays go.
One thing that has always been consistent with each birthday is cake. I have always received one store bought cake that reads "Happy Birthday Chrissy" complete with pink flowers. That is until this year. No cake. And since the cake was missing the candles were missing too and you know what that means.....no birthday wish.
Not that any of my wishes ever came true (still holding out for the BMW from last year) but none the less still a wish.
Survey is.....
What did you wish for on your last Birthday? Did it come true?
I am trying to figure out if I was gypped or not.
One thing that has always been consistent with each birthday is cake. I have always received one store bought cake that reads "Happy Birthday Chrissy" complete with pink flowers. That is until this year. No cake. And since the cake was missing the candles were missing too and you know what that means.....no birthday wish.
Not that any of my wishes ever came true (still holding out for the BMW from last year) but none the less still a wish.
Survey is.....
What did you wish for on your last Birthday? Did it come true?
I am trying to figure out if I was gypped or not.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Could London Bridge Fall Down???
Ever since I can remember I had a fear of Bridges. Maybe it was the song we all learned in pre-school....but I can not be sure. Also that "take the key and lock her up part".
Anyway, back to the point, my fear of bridges usually only effects my life 1 time a year when I make our annual trip to Ocean City and have to go over the Bay Bridge. Other then that my life goes on daily without any regard for my fear.
Recently I found a new hair guy who conveniently is located 2 exits over the Bay Bridge which for all of you keeping track now brings my toll closer to 7 times crossing the Bridge yearly. One would think that I should just find a new hair person who is not over the bridge bringing my bridge encounter back to its manageable 1 time a year. But he is really that great and they serve margaritas for their Cinco de Mayo party.
Let me give you a little background about how I deal with my fear just to put it into perspective if you have never witnessed first hand. Immediately after paying the toll to go over the bridge I make sure that I am in the left lane (faster), I have my hands at the 10 and 2 position that Mr. Heisler taught me and all music and conversation is silenced. I keep my eyes straight ahead and NEVER look left, right or behind me and absolutely NEVER down at the water. The grip on my steering wheel becomes almost painful but I don't realize the pain until safely to the other side of the bridge. I also do not remember breathing the entire time either but that has not presented any problems - just an observation.
So far all of my bridge crossing experiences have been similar to above only sometimes I am the passenger and instead of gripping the wheel I just ball my fists up dig my nails into my palm leaving 4 semicircles that are about to bleed in my palm. I do prefer to drive since I feel more in control of the speed and time to get over the bridge and I don't have embarrassing unexplainable marks on my hands.
On my last trip over the bridge this past weekend coming home from the salon I experienced my first near death encounter that confirmed my fear is nothing to be taken lightly or laughed at. We were about 1/2 mile over the bridge when ahead I saw brake lights = slowing/stopping ON THE bridge. I felt my anxiety level shoot up and could feel my face turning red. As I approached the reason for the slowing traffic I saw a car broken down missing a wheel in the right lane. There was total pandemonium (in my car) and I even let out a loud scream (for help?) then pressed my accelerator to the ground thinking that I could be next, stranded on the Bridge of Death (this is real folks - Thailand; look it up). When I reached the other side of the bridge I had a moment to reflect on my near death encounter.
I started to think that there must be others out there with this same fear (besides Shauna) and did some research. I tried to find a death toll for bridge related deaths to validate my fear but could only come up statistics for suicide related deaths on bridges. Then I had a breakthrough moment and found on a medical website my diagnosis.
Anyway, back to the point, my fear of bridges usually only effects my life 1 time a year when I make our annual trip to Ocean City and have to go over the Bay Bridge. Other then that my life goes on daily without any regard for my fear.
Recently I found a new hair guy who conveniently is located 2 exits over the Bay Bridge which for all of you keeping track now brings my toll closer to 7 times crossing the Bridge yearly. One would think that I should just find a new hair person who is not over the bridge bringing my bridge encounter back to its manageable 1 time a year. But he is really that great and they serve margaritas for their Cinco de Mayo party.
Let me give you a little background about how I deal with my fear just to put it into perspective if you have never witnessed first hand. Immediately after paying the toll to go over the bridge I make sure that I am in the left lane (faster), I have my hands at the 10 and 2 position that Mr. Heisler taught me and all music and conversation is silenced. I keep my eyes straight ahead and NEVER look left, right or behind me and absolutely NEVER down at the water. The grip on my steering wheel becomes almost painful but I don't realize the pain until safely to the other side of the bridge. I also do not remember breathing the entire time either but that has not presented any problems - just an observation.
So far all of my bridge crossing experiences have been similar to above only sometimes I am the passenger and instead of gripping the wheel I just ball my fists up dig my nails into my palm leaving 4 semicircles that are about to bleed in my palm. I do prefer to drive since I feel more in control of the speed and time to get over the bridge and I don't have embarrassing unexplainable marks on my hands.
On my last trip over the bridge this past weekend coming home from the salon I experienced my first near death encounter that confirmed my fear is nothing to be taken lightly or laughed at. We were about 1/2 mile over the bridge when ahead I saw brake lights = slowing/stopping ON THE bridge. I felt my anxiety level shoot up and could feel my face turning red. As I approached the reason for the slowing traffic I saw a car broken down missing a wheel in the right lane. There was total pandemonium (in my car) and I even let out a loud scream (for help?) then pressed my accelerator to the ground thinking that I could be next, stranded on the Bridge of Death (this is real folks - Thailand; look it up). When I reached the other side of the bridge I had a moment to reflect on my near death encounter.
I started to think that there must be others out there with this same fear (besides Shauna) and did some research. I tried to find a death toll for bridge related deaths to validate my fear but could only come up statistics for suicide related deaths on bridges. Then I had a breakthrough moment and found on a medical website my diagnosis.
Fear of Bridges: An abnormal and persistent fear of bridges, especially
crossing bridges. Sufferers of this phobia experience undue anxiety even though they realize their fear is irrational. Phobic drivers may worry about being in an accident in busy traffic or losing control of their vehicle.Fear of Bridges is a relatively common phobia although most people
with it do not know they have something called "gephyrophobia".This weeks survey : Tell my what your odd fear is and does it have a fun name?
Monday, April 30, 2007
Puzzling Observation....
I awake most mornings and fall asleep most nights to some type of ESPN programming. A compromise on my part if you will that allows the majority of after dinner viewing to consist of whatever reality TV show is on .
During a recent unspoken pre-compromised viewing of Sports Center where they were giving the run down of every sport that occurred over the past 24 hours and who the victor was I noticed something that caught my attention and can not stop thinking about it. Baseball coaches wear baseball player uniforms. This is odd to me. They are not expected to pinch hit or take the mound as a relief pitcher. Why do they wear the stretchy pants, jersey, hat and not to mention CLEATS!!
I racked my brain to try to figure out the reason and I began to think about what the coach does during baseball games that would justify the uniform. I am not a big baseball fan so I am not really certain of the logistics but I have attended my share of games and can recall seeing the coach sitting in the dugout and getting up for the occasional butt slapping (another blog entirely), getting up to yell at the umpire, making calls on the equally suspicious phone, and of course eating sunflower seeds. None of this activity requires stretchy pants!
In no other sport does the coach or coaching staff wear the same uniform as the players. Not Football, Basketball, Hockey, Soccer, Tennis, Swimming, or Ice Skating.
Survey is....or rather question is, Why do baseball coaches wear the baseball uniform?
During a recent unspoken pre-compromised viewing of Sports Center where they were giving the run down of every sport that occurred over the past 24 hours and who the victor was I noticed something that caught my attention and can not stop thinking about it. Baseball coaches wear baseball player uniforms. This is odd to me. They are not expected to pinch hit or take the mound as a relief pitcher. Why do they wear the stretchy pants, jersey, hat and not to mention CLEATS!!
I racked my brain to try to figure out the reason and I began to think about what the coach does during baseball games that would justify the uniform. I am not a big baseball fan so I am not really certain of the logistics but I have attended my share of games and can recall seeing the coach sitting in the dugout and getting up for the occasional butt slapping (another blog entirely), getting up to yell at the umpire, making calls on the equally suspicious phone, and of course eating sunflower seeds. None of this activity requires stretchy pants!
In no other sport does the coach or coaching staff wear the same uniform as the players. Not Football, Basketball, Hockey, Soccer, Tennis, Swimming, or Ice Skating.
Survey is....or rather question is, Why do baseball coaches wear the baseball uniform?
Friday, April 6, 2007
Shout Out to Stove Top
As I went back and forth looking in my pantry then back to my refrigerator then back to the pantry I spotted a box of Stove Top Stuffing making eyes at me. I thought to myself how much I enjoy Stove Top and how I never make it (and that I need to go to the grocery store).
So feeling bad for Stove Top (and the lack of other choices) I decided that Stove Top Stuffing would be my lunch. As I stood in front of the stove waiting for my water and butter mixture to come to a boil I was trying to think back to the last time that I enjoyed stuffing and figured out that it was Thanksgiving. Over 5 months ago!
Why is it that we only eat stuffing at Thanksgiving and Christmas? Wait for it....
As I put my prepared Stove Top Stuffing into a bowl and began to try and enjoy it I figured out after my second bite why we only eat it at Thanksgiving and Christmas.... stuffing is just not the same without the turkey and gravy. Stuffing without turkey and gravy is just a bowl of bread with some fancy flavor.
Here is your survey....what kind of stuffing do you like? Homemade or Stove Top?
Personally I am a Stove Top girl, my family on the other hand are lovers of my mothers homemade stuffing (bread, celery, onion, pepper, no flavor) so when I finally hosted my own Thanksgiving dinner I was sure to make them suffer with Stove Top since I suffered with homemade stuffing for all of those years.
So feeling bad for Stove Top (and the lack of other choices) I decided that Stove Top Stuffing would be my lunch. As I stood in front of the stove waiting for my water and butter mixture to come to a boil I was trying to think back to the last time that I enjoyed stuffing and figured out that it was Thanksgiving. Over 5 months ago!
Why is it that we only eat stuffing at Thanksgiving and Christmas? Wait for it....
As I put my prepared Stove Top Stuffing into a bowl and began to try and enjoy it I figured out after my second bite why we only eat it at Thanksgiving and Christmas.... stuffing is just not the same without the turkey and gravy. Stuffing without turkey and gravy is just a bowl of bread with some fancy flavor.
Here is your survey....what kind of stuffing do you like? Homemade or Stove Top?
Personally I am a Stove Top girl, my family on the other hand are lovers of my mothers homemade stuffing (bread, celery, onion, pepper, no flavor) so when I finally hosted my own Thanksgiving dinner I was sure to make them suffer with Stove Top since I suffered with homemade stuffing for all of those years.
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